Random curmudgeonry

Posted on December 4, 2007
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            I’m in a grouchy mood. Some of it is about things people are grouchy about.

Celine, Ben & Fruitcake

            Chickens will surround and peck to death one of their wounded or diseased. Why is it that so many of our species seem eager to emulate chickens?

            Currently Ben Affleck and Celine Dion seem to be favourite targets among celebrities.

            Affleck seems a rather minor character to attract so much public opprobrium.  He seems like a journeyman actor. I doubt many of the people who use him as a synonym for loser even know what it is about him that evokes their derision.

            Celine Dion has a wonderful voice. She did and does work very hard. She isn’t among my favourite singers. The spate of royal treatment she and her husband allowed or encouraged did irritate me a bit. There was something about a police escort from the airport to their island estate in Montreal.

            However, some people seem to feel she equals arctic weather as curses Canada has inflicted on the continent.

            Fruitcake gets the same treatment. Especially from American Thanksgiving to Christmas, pundits of all stripes seem compelled to talk about how no one likes or has any respect for fruitcake and no one eats it.

            Where does that come from?

            I like fruitcake. It isn’t something anyone should eat pounds of every year but a few slices at Christmas are just great.

Celebrity abuse

          What’s the difference between wallowing in news of the sick behaviour of Paris, Britney and Lindsay and taunting the village idiot?

            We fool these girls into thinking they are special. We fawn all over them, push them to the head of the line and ply them with temptations that will destroy them.

            We pimp them out like child prostitutes in the sex-tourism sleaze pits of Asia.

            Then we express shock and disgust when they behave as we have trained them.

            In fact, they have to behave in more and more shocking ways to maintain the public interest that is their stock in trade. Now a mere sex tape wouldn’t be enough. As the nymphets age, they will have to be caught doing kinkier things to keep their ratings, and appearance fees, up.

            It seems to me that the media have found it easier and cheaper to cater to the base instincts of the carnival crowd than to try to elevate our palates. The reading audience has bled away over recent decades and cost slashers rule the industry. Celebrity news has become a large section of the media menu.

            Brave new world!

No fly lists

          Flying continues to become less and less pleasant. Airlines and airports more and more restrictive and bossy.

            We hear more about incidents of air rage. The penalties are severe. Offend airline or airport crew and you could find yourself on a no-fly list.

            Given the dictatorial, inconsiderate behaviour of air industry personel, I think there should be a no-fly list for them.

            How would you feel about a no-fly list for airlines and airline staff?

            All passengers would be surveyed after each flight. Any airline or airline staff that didn’t meet a certain standard of customer service would go on the list and not be allowed to fly.


Lighter and brighter

          I was playing the martyr with my wife and her parents. I sighed that we poor men are simply putty in the hands of our wives.

            “Hmph!” snorted my mother-in-law. “You can’t even buy putty anymore. It’s all silicone now!”

            It took me a minute to recognize the double entendre. I don’t think she has yet. It was too quick to be deliberate.



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