Stupid lies irritate customers

Posted on January 8, 2008
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            Do you have any kind of phobia about being played for a fool?

            Do you like plastic if it is obviously plastic and doing a plastic job?

            Do you hate it if it is pretending to be wood and displaying a wood grain pattern?

            I seem to have that idiosyncrasy to a foolish degree. An obvious fake or a stupid lie really irritates me.

            This past weekend, in a Home Depot store, a recorded voice came over the public address system and said “Remember, it is as important to keep your child securely buckled in in a shopping cart as it is in your car.”

            What damn fool nonsense! Do they think we are all retarded?

            Please don’t get on my case about the use of the word retarded either. Words are not offensive. The intent of the people who use them can be. There is no difference in the meaning of retarded or mentally handicapped other than what some self-righteous, politically correct people determine to attribute to them.

            The same with elderly, old and senior. There is no more respect in senior than in elderly other that what those same euphemism creators cook up.

            I think it was a Texan who said of these people that they are convinced it is possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

            How long will it be before we are chastised for using the word blonde to describe hair colour?

            Getting back to seat belts in shopping carts, is Home Depot’s official position that a baby in a shopping cart in a store is subject to the same degree of danger that he or she is in a car going 100km per hour?

            People that stupid don’t deserve my business.

            On the ferry to Prince Edward Island, the last time I was on one, there was a recorded public announcement in a juiceless male voice that said “The waters of Atlantic Canada are pollution free.”

            I’m amazed anyone could say that without gagging on such a huge wad of stupid clutched in two large handfuls of lie.

            Perhaps that’s why they had to get someone with a voice with no juice or salt in it. It had to be someone who has never been near saltwater or, probably, any other kind.



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