Closure a complex emotion

Posted on December 5, 2022
Filed Under Commentary, History & Culture | Leave a Comment

Closure means different things to different people. Often it means friends, family and associates get to perform an act of respect important to them. Sometimes it means an answer has been found to a disappearance or the solving of a crime. Often it signifies relief that a loved one’s suffering is over or that an offender’s consequences have begun.
It rarely means any relief from grief. Grief is the price we pay for love. It does scab over and numb over time. It is still there. From time to time something rips off the scab and reopens the wound.
There is also a point when the next of kins’ duties marking end of life are completed and there is time to deal with only the emotions of loss, not the facts and acts.
From my observations, it does not usually mean a lessening of grief.
I agree with Judy’s appeal to be kind. Most comments made to attempt to make the survivors feel better, don’t. I struggle to think of things to say that don’t sound stupid.
From personal experience, I know it is heartening to see and hear messages of care and concern when you lose your parents or a sibling. They contribute to healing for survivors and care expressed for mourners.
Formal end of life rituals occur in all cultures and faiths I’m aware of. That would seem to indicate they fulfil some latent human instinct and need to recognize, mark, observe and record such a significant milestone in human existence.


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